Regret
by DocMcRegals
Summary: What happens when Carson and Ryan Montgomery Shepherd are caught in the crossfires of the Seattle Grace Mercy West Shooting? Could this tragedy be enough to reunite the Shepherds and make Derek realize his mistakes? AU; 6x22-23. Addek one shot; Private Practice references.


"Regret"

**Hey guys!**

**So I'm back with another Addek fanfic. This one's kind of random. It's set AU at the end of season 6 when Derek gets shot. I think you guys will enjoy it…I'm not giving away any spoilers, so…**

**Happy Reading,**

**Xoxo, Dee**

...

16 year Carson Danielle Forbes Montgomery Shepherd stood at the nurses' station of the surgical floor at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital with her 10 year old brother Ryan, waiting for her father.

"Has anyone seen my dad? He was supposed to take us to dinner 30 minutes ago!" Carson said running a hand through her red hair. It was like him to be late for everything. It had been this way since they lived in New York some 6 years earlier. The longer she waited, the more she became increasingly annoyed, especially when no one seemed to know her father's whereabouts.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd, chief of surgery, about this tall, great hair, they call him McDreamy, anyone seem him? Anyone? Ugh! I'm starving! He's probably in some stupid board meeting or something…I hate him being chief" she grumbled

"He'll be here Carley, he promised" Ryan said looking up at his sister.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, dad makes lots of promises he can't keep Ry" she said rolling her eyes.

"Meredith, you seen my dad?" she asked her father's girlfriend; she hated having to ask her because she didn't really like her, but she knew if anyone knew where to find her father, it would be Meredith

"Uh no Carson, I haven't seen him today…is something wrong?"

"Yeah, he was supposed to take me and Ryan to get something to eat like 45 minutes ago"

"Oh, well I'll have one of the nurses page him"

"Yeah…whatever"

She hated being forced to visit her father in Seattle. She missed the sunshine of Los Angeles and her mother. She and her father didn't exactly get along, mostly because he said she acted like her mother, which was true. Carson was the spitting image of Dr. Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery, down to her red hair. She adored her mother and aspired to be just like her. Her mom was her best friend. Her father however, she didn't feel the same way. To Carson, he was just the absentee father and husband (though she had never admitted this to him). He missed everything: dance recitals, gymnastics competitions, piano recitals-all because of surgery. She understood the demands of her father's job; being that he was a world class neurosurgeon (the best there is), she knew that there would be times he would miss things, but not everything. Her mother was a surgeon just like her father (an even better one let Carson tell it), and she did the best she could to be there for her daughter, as well as her son; when she couldn't she always did something special to make up for it.

"Okay, it's been almost an hour, I'm tired of waiting…Uncle Mark!" she said in a sing song voice as she walked up to her father's best friend Dr. Mark Sloan flashing him her sweetest smile she could

"Oh God…she's about to do it" Mark said to his best friend, Dr. Callie Torres

"Do what?"

"She wants something; she's about to play her best goddaughter card to get something; she knows I can't resist her face…I mean she looks _exactly _like Addison, and she knows I _can't_ say noto Addison"

"Hey Uncle Mark" Carson said sweetly, wrapping her arms around his neck

"Hi Carley"

"How much do you love your favorite Goddaughter in the whole wide world?"

"You're my only goddaughter…alright, what do you want Carson?"

"I want to use your car"

"You wanna use my what? You're insane!"

"Aw come on Uncle Mark! I have my driver's license"

"_Addison's letting you drive?_ As bad as _she_ drives she's letting _you_ drive?"

"Funny, very funny Uncle Mark…mom bought me a car for my birthday, remember? Shiny white BMW with the big shiny pink bow on top…you remember, you came to my party…come on Uncle Mark! I'll be really good"

"I'll be really good"

"Hey! Don't mock me! I'm serious"

"I'm serious"

"Uncle Mark!"

"Uncle Mark"

"It's not funny!"

"It's not funny!"

"Okay I'm telling daddy"

"What are you 6 again?"

"No…"

"You miss that don't you? Being a kid and having your dad around huh?"

"Maybe, just a little bit"

"A little bit?"

"Okay I miss it a lot, like every single day, but that's not the point"

"I didn't mean to push Carley"

"So are you gonna let me see your car or not Uncle Mark?"

"I don't know Carley"

"I promise I'm a responsible driver…please…please, please, please, with sugar on top and ice cream in the middle and…"

"Alright fine! Geez! You really are still that 6 year old redhead with no front teeth"

"Thank you Uncle Mark! I'll be real careful I promise"

"Don't go far Carley…your dad's probably gonna kill me for this"

"I promise you won't be sorry you let me drive" she said giving him a quick peck on the cheek as she scooped up her designer bag (another thing she inherited from Addison was her killer sense of style) and headed out the door.

Just as Carson returned some 20 minutes later, her father appeared looking very angry

"Carson, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you! The nurses said you paged me and then I come looking for you and you're no where to be found"

"I didn't page you; Meredith said she'd get someone to page you…I went to get Ryan and me something to eat…is there a problem?"

"Yes, you left the hospital without my permission!"

"Chill dad, I just went to get some dinner, you were taking too long and we were hungry; it's no big deal"

"It is a big deal…how'd you get there anyways?"

"Uncle Mark let me use his car…dad I'm 16 I have license, no biggie, I drive in LA all the time"

"You let her use your car?" he asked turning to Mark

"Yeah, they'd been waiting over an hour Derek, the kids were hungry"

"Yeah dad we were really hungry, relax, it's no big deal, mom let's me drive all the time"

"Well this isn't LA, and I'm not your mother"

"You certainly aren't…she's way cooler than you"

"I'm sorry what did you say?"

"Nothing, nothing, relax, dad, chill okay, you're blowing things way out of proportion here"

"That's it Carson you're grounded"

"WHAT? I'm getting grounded for going to get something to eat? You can't be serious!"

"No, you're grounded because you're rude and disrespectful…I don't know how your mother deals with you"

"Really, you're grounding me? Fine, being here with you is punishment enough anyways"

"Grounded means no cell phone, or TV, or computer, grounded means you either sit at my house all day doing nothing or you sit here in the conference room all day doing nothing" Derek said taking the cell phone away from her

"Hey! You can't take that! You don't pay the bill mom does!"

"Oh yeah, I send her the money to pay the phone bill"

"You get that you're like the worst person ever, you do get that right: YOU'RE THE WORST PERSON EVER"

"That's fine Carson…Meredith; can you drop Carson off at home for me?"

"I'm not going anywhere with her…I don't have to listen to her, she's not my mother and she _certainly_ isn't your wife…you guys got married on a _post-it_, that doesn't count"

"Carson, I don't…"

"What? I don't have time for this Carson? I know I know you have to work or like do surgery or something…whatever, look just go dad okay?"

"Carson, my patience is wearing very thin; I don't know how much more of your back talk I can take, now, go with Meredith so that she can take you home, I'll meet you guys there in a little…we'll talk more when I get there"

"Fine dad, go, go on do your stupid little surgeries and paper work or whatever, but Uncle Mark's taking me home, _not _Meredith"

"No, Meredith can take you, I'm sure Mark has some patients he needs to see"

"Come on dad! Please! Can't Uncle Mark take me?"

"Carson…"

"Come on dad! Please! I like it when Uncle Mark takes me home"

"Now you're whining, Carson, just go with Meredith"

"Fine, Fine whatever you say Dr. Shepherd"

"Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yeah, because you're certainly not acting like my dad right now"

"You're not acting like the daughter I raised"

"Technically you didn't raise me… mom did that because you were hardly ever around"

"Ugh Carson…"

"Ugh! Derek…"

"GO GET IN THE CAR NOW! I don't have time for this dammit! I have a hospital to run! People's lives are in danger and I don't have time for you to be acting like a spoiled little brat Carson! I swear living in LA has made you a snob" Derek yelled at her, causing everyone to stop and look at him as tears formed in Carson's eyes; he'd never yelled at her like that, he'd never said those kinds of things to her before

"I HATE YOU! YOU WERE A LOUSY FATHER AND A TERRIBLE HUSBAND! I DON'T BLAME MOM FOR SLEEPING WITH UNCLE MARK!" Carson shouted at her father as she ran out of the hospital…

…..

Los, Angeles, California-6 hours later

Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery was elbow deep in the middle of a patient when her best friend Dr. Naomi Bennett came into the OR

"Hey, Nae" Addison said smiling through her mask, her eyes still focused on the patient as she pulled the crying baby from the woman's uterus. Naomi stood nervously near the door, causing Addison to instantly grow suspicious.

"What's wrong? Nae, what aren't you telling me?"

"Okay Addison, what I'm about to tell you, I just want you to remember that you are elbow deep inside of a patient's uterus"

"Okay…."

"So, Mark called me a little while ago"

"Mark called you? Is everything okay?"

"Um yeah, everything's good"

"You're lying…Naomi, I have known you sense med school, I can tell when something's wrong so spill it"

"It's Carson"

"What about Carson? Naomi? Dr. Bennett, what is going on with my child?"

"Addison, stay calm, remember, you're elbow deep in a patient"

"You just came into_ my_ OR and told me something's going on with my daughter, how the hell do you expect for me to be calm?" Addison said just as another OB attending came in to take over for her. She quickly scrubbed out and followed Naomi out of the OR.

"It's Carson…she's gone missing"

"WHAT? What the hell do you mean she's gone missing?"

"Well she and Derek had some sort of altercation and she well…ran away"….

…..

Seattle, Washington-12 hours later

"So you're certain there was no one in the car when you pulled it from the river?" Addison asked the sheriff

"We're positive Dr. Montgomery…We've got our team looking everywhere for her, we're doing everything we can to find her" The sheriff said as he walked away, causing Addison to burst into sobs

"Shh, Addie, it's gonna be okay, they'll find her" Naomi said trying to soothe her best friend

"She's missing Nae! They don't usually find missing kids alive" Addison said above a whisper

"Addison, I'm so sorry" Dr. Miranda Bailey said crouching down next to her

"No, Miranda, _do not_ offer me your apologies, just tell me what the hell happened?"

"I was in surgery, but apparently she and Derek got into an altercation and she got upset and left"

Mark and Derek were just returning from getting coffee for everyone after being out all night searching for Carson when Addison spotted them

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" she shouted at them

"This is my fault Addison, I yelled at her and…" Derek said just as Addison slapped him across the face

"If we don't find her, if something's happened to her Derek I swear…" Addison said before bursting into sobs again

"Addison, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, she's my little girl too…this is all my fault" Derek said tearfully as his ex wife sobbed into his shirt…

…..

18 hours earlier

Carson stormed out of Seattle Grace Hospital, and headed straight for Mark's car (luckily she still had the keys) and just drove. She was so angry with her father. How could he say all those horrible things to her? She honestly didn't blame her mother for the affair she had with Mark Sloan. No one even knew that Carson knew about the affair, or that she saw her father throw her mother out of their brownstone that night. As she drove, her mind began to wonder back to that night and the events that followed…

FLASHBACK

10 year old Carson Montgomery-Shepherd was awakened by the sound of the rain and voices, very angry voices; her parents were arguing…again, but this time, there was something different about the way they argued. She was used to her parents arguing about her father never being around much (he was in surgery the day that her brother Ryan was born), or about her and Ryan, or about something ridiculous Mark had gotten them (because Mark liked to spoil his godchildren to no end and to no expense). But tonight, there was something different about the atmosphere in the Montgomery-Shepherd home.

"Derek, Please! I messed up and I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"YOU'RE SORRY? YOU'RE SORRY? ADDISON I COME HOME AND FIND YOU FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YOU'RE SORRY?"

"He was just here Derek, it just happened…Derek, Derek, what are you doing with my clothes?"

The arguing continued, but Carson remained inside her bedroom until she heard her parents come down the stairs, this was when she crept out of the room as she saw her father tossing her mother's clothes out onto the doorstep.

"Get out Get the hell out Addison!"

"No Derek I'm not leaving"

It was at this moment that Carson saw her father forcibly remove her mother from their home and out onto the doorstep where she stood banging and begging to be let in. When Carson returned home from school the next day, her father's things were gone and so was her father…

She later found out that her had moved to Seattle and taken a job as the head of neurosurgery at Seattle Grace Hospital. Derek called and talked to Carson and Ryan often, never really speaking to Addison. Things stayed this way until Addison had to fly to Seattle to consult on a case. Carson was excited about going to Seattle to visit her father; even though she didn't like what he did, she still missed him terribly. When they arrived in Seattle, Addison made sure that the nanny Ilana got the children settled in before she headed for the hospital.

"Aw mom, can't I come with you? I wanna see daddy" Carson whined.

"No honey, it's late and daddy's probably working, you'll see him tomorrow I promise" Addison said kissing her on the top of her head before heading out the door. Carson desperately wanted to see her father. After getting her bath, she told Ilana that she was tired and was going to bed early. Once Ilana had taken Ryan into the bathroom to give him a bath, Carson crept out of bed and went into Ilana's purse and took 50 dollars and crept out the door. Once she got outside, she was instantly able to hail a cab (thanks to Mark, who had taught her 2 years earlier).

"Hey kid, where are your parents?" the driver asked

"Can you take me to Seattle Grace Hospital, please?" she said flashing him her sweetest smile

"You got money?"

"Will 50 bucks cover it?"

The driver quickly took the money, and drove straight for the hospital. Carson stood outside of the hospital for a split second before entering. She searched for a moment, looking for where the surgical floor was, before spotting asking a nurse and asking her. Once she got off the elevator, she spotted a blonde haired doctor.

"Hi" Carson said smiling up at her

"Hi" The young woman replied

"My name's Carson what's yours?"

"I'm Dr. Stevens, but you can call me Izzie; it's nice to meet you Carson…are you lost?"

"Uh yeah, I can't find my parents" Carson said innocently as Izzie helped her search for her parents; after a while Izzie got a page and had to leave.

"Oh darn it! I've gotta go, I could have someone else help you look" Izzie said

"No, I think I can find them"

After Izzie walked away, Carson stood in the middle of the busy hallway, looking for someone who might have a clue as to where her parents would be, before spotting a brown haired looking doctor.

"Excuse me" Carson said sweetly to the young man who remained working on his charts

"Excuse me" Carson said again, tapping him in the shoulder

"What do you want I'm busy" he said snapping at her

"Gosh, to be a doctor, you're pretty rude" Carson said rolling her eyes

"Who are you and where are your parents anyway?"

"I'm Carson and I can't find my parents…who are you?"

"I'm Alex"

"So, Alex, think you can help me find my parents?"

After walking around the hall for 20 minutes, Carson spotted an office with Derek's name on it

"I see my daddy's office; I'll wait in there, thanks Alex"

"Yeah whatever" Alex said as he walked away

2 hours later

After her altercation with Derek and talking to the chief, Addison prepared to go back to her hotel. Just as she was leaving, she got a call from Ilana saying that Carson had gone missing. She quickly searched for Derek, finding him talking to Dr. Burke.

"I thought you were going back to your hotel?" Derek said coldly

"I was but Ilana just called and said Carson's gone missing"

"Missing?"

"That's what I said, Carson's gone missing, now, are you going to stop hating me long enough to help me find our daughter or are you going to just stand there?"

Alex was heading back to the nurses station when he heard Derek and Addison talking about Carson, he paused and looked at them.

"Sorry to interrupt, but did you say you're looking for a kid named Carson? About this tall red hair, looks just like her?" he said pointing at Addison

"Yeah Karev, my daughter, have you seen her?" Derek asked

"Dude, she's in your office" Alex said simply before turning and walking away

Addison and Derek rushed to his office to find Carson fast asleep on the couch. Derek smiled at the sight of his daughter.

"Carley, hey princess, wake up" Derek said softly as Carson fluttered her eyes open.

"Daddy! I missed you" she said sitting up hugging his neck as her eyes met with Addison's.

"She's pretty mad" Derek whispered into Carson's ear as he picked her up off of the sofa

"Shh, she'll hear you" Carson whispered back

"I can hear you two you know" Addison said as she walked over to Derek and Carson, who instantly pretended to be asleep

"Nice try Carson, but I know you're not asleep" Addison said as she tickled her daughter

"I'm in big trouble aren't I?" Carson asked as she looked up at both her parent's

"Oh yeah, big trouble" Addison and Derek said as the three of them sat on the couch

"So, exactly how did you get here?" Derek asked

"I uh, took a cab and I remembered mom saying you worked at Seattle Grace"

"You hailed a taxi?" Addison asked

"Yes"

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Derek asked

"Uncle Mark"

"I should've known…So you hailed a cab, but how'd you pay for it?"

"I um, I _borrowed_ some money from Ilana"

"You borrowed some money? Is that what we're calling it 'borrowing' money"

"How much did you steal?"

"50 dollars"

"Well, you're going to have to give that back to her…I'm thinking work off what you owe her"

"Aw but mom!"

"No butts, you stole from your nanny and you ran away Carson and that is unacceptable"

Once Addison turned her head, Derek slipped Carson a 50 to give back to Ilana…After successfully performing the surgery, Addison planned to give Derek divorce papers and return to New York, but after spending time with his children, Derek decided to give his marriage another try. Though he tried, Derek's heart belonged to Meredith. Although he tried to keep his affair with Meredith a secret from his children, it was Carson who found a pair of black panties in her father's coat early one morning.

"Mom"

"Yeah honey"

"Um, why are there panties in daddy's coat pocket?" Carson asked holding up a pair of black lace panties. Addison froze where she was for a second before snatching the panties from her daughter; several days later, Addison moved her and the children into a hotel and the panties were never mentioned again

"Mommy why are we living in a hotel while daddy stays in the trailer?" Ryan asked one evening as they left the hospital. Addison paused for a brief moment; she knew that the children deserved to know the truth.

"Well honey, because daddy and I are getting a divorce" she said sadly

"But, but, why?" Ryan asked

Addison took in a deep breath and tried to explain to her children that even though mommy and daddy loved each other very much, they decided that they didn't want to be married anymore. Carson however, didn't believe this at all, she knew it had something to do with the panties she'd found in Derek's coat pocket. After the divorce was final, Addison stayed in Seattle a few more months before accepting a job offer from Naomi to work at her private medical co-op. Over the next several years, Carson and Ryan would go back and forth between Seattle and Los Angeles, living primarily with Addison, but visiting with Derek often. Carson was instantly angered when she saw the woman that Derek left her mother for and how much attention he paid to her. She made sure Meredith knew how much she disliked her and she was sure to let her father know how much she despised him...

….

After driving for over 2 hours, Carson brought the car to a complete stop. She got out of the car and stood there, still angry. How dare he say such things to her? She wasn't any of the things he said she was; all she wanted was for her father to be a good father to her and Ryan, and she wished he would've been a better husband to Addison, but that was over now. He had hurt her and she was pissed. She got back into the car and put it in drive, and got out just before the car went down a hill and into the Seattle River. After watching the car go under water, she turned around and walked away headed where exactly in the Seattle Rain? Carson Forbes Montgomery Shepherd had absolutely no clue…

Addison sat, head in her hands, trying not to go insane; her daughter was missing. She jumped when she heard her cell phone vibrate; the area code let her know that the call was being made from somewhere in Seattle.

"Hello?" Addison said shakily

"Mom"

"Carson! Oh my god, honey where are you?"

"Mom, what the heck are you doing in Seattle?"

"I came when I heard that you'd gone missing…honey where are you?"

"I'm fine mom, honest, I just…needed to get away"

"Carson where are you?"

"The Archfield"

"The Archfield?"

"Yeah"

"How did you…I don't even want to know how, sweetie just come back to the hospital"

"No…Mom I love you and I'm okay but no"

"Carson, he didn't mean it"

"But he did! He did mom! He's mean and he's a jerk and I hate him! I never want to see him ever again!"

"Carson…I know you're angry, I get that you're upset, but sweetie, he's still your father; he's going crazy with worry"

"No he's not…he's probably in surgery"

Addison sighed; there was no getting over on this kid. She knew Derek just as well as Addison; he was indeed in surgery (to calm his nerves).

"Sweetie, just come back to the hospital…for me"

After 20 minutes of coaxing, Carson was in a cab and headed back to Seattle Grace Mercy West. When she got out of the cab, she instantly spotted Alex Karev.

"Where the hell were you?" he said looking pretty pissed

"I'm fine Alex thanks for asking" she said sarcastically

"Don't get smart with me kid, where were you? You had everyone freaking out looking for you; your mom's hysterical…" He paused before wrapping his arms around her, giving her a big hug

"Aw Alex, who knew you had such a big heart" she smirked

"Shut it Montgomery"

"You missed me you know you did…admit it: you've always liked me"

"Whatever…okay maybe a little, but if you tell anyone I'll hurt you"

"I won't I promise" she said laughing as she headed into the hospital where her mother stood with an angry look on her face.

"Carson Danielle Forbes Montgomery Shepherd…"

She could tell that her mother was very angry, and she hated to upset her.

"I'm sorry mom, I really am" she cried as her mother wrapped her arms around her and held her close for a few moments.

"Thank God you're alright" Addison said softly

"You are never using my car again" Mark said before pulling her in for a close hug

"I'm sorry Uncle Mark, I didn't mean to…"

"Shh, hey, I can get another car, but another you? That's impossible to replace…"

"So you're not mad?"

"About my car? Oh yeah I'm pissed! But I'm even happier that my favorite goddaughter is alright…you scared the hell out of us" he murmured as he held her close to him

Carson looked around for her father, but of course he was nowhere to be found, Carson sighed as her mother and godfather comforted her; all she wanted was to see her father, but he was a no show….

….

Carson found her father sitting in the OR gallery alone a few hours later. He had always told her that being in the OR helped him think. She sat down quietly in a chair beside him. There was a long silence before either of them spoke.

"I'm sorry for running away" she said softly

"I know" Derek replied

"Daddy, did, did you mean all of those things you said about me?"

"Carson, I was upset and I had no right to…No, I didn't mean any of what I said Carley honey I am so sorry I made you feel that way" He said as he pulled her close for a hug; after a comfortable silence, Derek spoke

"I really was a terrible father and husband wasn't I?"

"Yeah, you were…it was me, I told mom about the panties"

"You? You found Meredith's…"

"Yeah, if you had seen the look on her face dad…I almost wish I hadn't found them"

"You said something earlier…you said, you didn't blame your mother for sleeping with Mark…you knew about that too?"

"I knew something was going on between the two of them, I didn't know what, but there was something; Uncle Mark was always around and mom was always happy, but when you were there, she was so…miserable…then I heard you say it, that night when you threw her out of the brownstone"

"You saw that too? Oh god honey I'm sorry you had to see any of that, I'm so sorry Carley"

"Its…okay dad, I forgive you"

"But you still can't really blame her for sleeping with him"

"Daddy, you missed everything: birthdays, Christmas, ballet recitals, you even missed Ryan being born; and don't hold that up to surgery, because mom's job is just as demanding as yours but she was always there…you sent your best friend to fill in your role as husband and father, did you not think that nothing would happen? When I was a kid, people would see Uncle Mark picking me up from school and taking me to dance and to piano and they'd ask 'Hey Carson is that your dad or is he your mom's boyfriend?' I'd say no, he's my dad's best friend, but you might as well say he's my dad'"

"Carson honey, I'm so sorry…I promise I'm going to make it up to you and to Ryan, I promise"

…..

2 weeks later

After his talk with Carson, Derek Shepherd did his best to make it up to his children. He knew it would take a lot, but things seemed to be going well. His relationship with Carson had significantly changed over the past 2 weeks; the two were closer than they had been in years. One afternoon as he sat in sat in his office talking and laughing with his 2 children, April Kepner burst into his office; she was covered in blood and rambling incoherently. It took him a moment, to understand what she was saying, but it finally hit him: there was a gunman in the hospital. His hospital.

"Dad, what's going on?" Carson asked worriedly

"Stay here, don't move" Derek said

"But dad what's going on?"

"Stay here Carson, don't move" he said again before walking out the door.

After a while, Carson became restless. It had been over an hour since her father and the strange looking girl left his office and she had become increasingly worried.

"Ryan stay here, I'm gonna go look for dad" Carson said as she stood up

"No Carley, dad said wait here"

"I'll be right back I promise, here take my cell phone, if I'm not back in 10 minutes, call mom and tell her what's going on okay?"

"Okay…I'm scared Carley"

"Yeah me to Ry, me too" she said as she left the office…

She wandered around near the office until she spotted her father, and a strange looking man standing on the CAT walk exchanging some sort of words. A few moments later, the older looking man pulled out a gun. Her heart stopped as the man pulled out the gun; she instantly went to run towards her father, but someone or something held her back, she turned to see Meredith and Cristina holding her.

"What the hell are you doing? He's got a gun!" Carson shouted

"Carson you may of like me, but I can't let you go out there and get killed, your mom and dad would kill me if something happened to you" Meredith told her

"We can't just let him kill him! Dad-" Before Carson could finish her sentence, Meredith covered her mouth, as the man, later identified as Gary Clarke, fired on single shot which instantly sent Derek to the ground. After freeing herself from Meredith and Cristina's grasp, Carson instantly rushed towards her father, crying hysterically as she placed her hands on the spot where the blood came rushing out of Derek's chest.

"Dad! Daddy! Daddy! Don't die! Please don't die! You can't die! I take it all back, I'm sorry, you weren't a bad husband! You weren't a bad father! Daddy please get up! Daddy please get up! DADDY!...

Los Angles, California-4 hours later

Addison Forbes Montgomery was on a high that day. She had just performed 2 surgeries and delivered 4 babies. As she walked towards the waiting room of St. Ambrose Hospital, she instantly stopped when she noticed all of her friends were standing there with sad looks on their faces. She instantly felt uneasy when she approached them.

"What's going on?" she asked warily

"Addison, we just got a call from Seattle Grace Mercy West" Charlotte King said softly

"What happened? Charlotte, what happened?"

"There was a hostage situation…your ex husband was shot"

Addison instantly froze, once she heard Charlotte's words: Derek had been shot. Her mind instantly went to Carson and Ryan who had to be terrified.

"What, what about Carson and Ryan?" she asked shakily

"Carson saw the whole thing" Naomi said as she approached her best friend, holding her steady as she felt Addison's knees buckle

"And Ryan?"

"They, they don't know where he is"

All of this news became too much for Addison, who instantly hit the floor…

Seattle, Washington

As Carson lay on the ground next to her father, Meredith came and crouched beside her, speaking gently to her

"Carson, he's gonna be fine Okay"

"How the hell is he gonna be okay! He's been shot!"

"I know, but you have to help us get him to an OR so that Cristina can operate, okay?"

Carson looked up at Meredith and nodded as she stood up so that they could get her father to the OR.

"Meredith, I'm scared…what if he dies?"

"He's not going to die Carson, I promise you that"

Carson nodded, burying her head in Meredith's chest as she sobbed...

….

When Addison Montgomery woke up, there was a crowd of people standing around her

"What, what happened?" she asked as she sat up, her eyes fully coming into focus

"Addison, you collapsed after Charlotte told you about the shooting" Naomi said

"Carson…Ryan…Derek! I need to get to Seattle" Addison said trying to stand up

"As soon as you get checked out, then we'll go" Naomi told her

"I need to go now" Addison said as she stood

"Addison just let Pete check you out" Charlotte said softly

"A _crazed_ gunman just held Seattle Grace, the place some of my closest friends work, hostage, my ex husband's been shot, my daughter witnessed the entire thing, and to top it all off no one knows where the hell my son is in the midst of all of this chaos! I need to be in Seattle _right now_!" Addison said…

After several hours of surgery, Derek survived. Once the surgery was over, Carson wandered aimlessly out into the hallway seeing the police officers taking statements from everyone and assessing all of the damage that Gary Clark had done. Mark, who had just returned from Seattle Presbyterian after being with Lexie and Alex Karev, who had been shot point blank, was the first person to spot his goddaughter

"Carson! Carson! Oh my God Carley, is this your blood? Are you bleeding? Carson honey talk to me" Mark said frantically, noticing the blood on her clothes

"He, he shot him…he, he pulled out a gun and…he, he, he shot him…" Carson said over and over

"Carson, Carson honey, look at me, who got shot?" Mark said cupping the young girl's face

"My, my daddy…that man…he shot…he shot my daddy Uncle Mark…he shot him! I saw it! The whole thing! There was so much blood! He shot my daddy!" Carson whispered before bursting into sobs as Mark picked the young girl up and held her, kissing the top of her head as he tried to soothe her

"Shh, Carson, its okay sweetie, you're okay, I've got you, you're safe now, that man's gone, he's gone, your dad's alright, I've got you, Uncle Mark's got you"

"How is she Mark? Is she okay?" Addison asked Mark as she and Naomi placed their things into their rental car at the airport

"Yeah Addie, she's fine…they both are" Mark said softly as he watched his two godchildren sleep in an on call room

"Where was he Mark?"

"He'd been in Derek's office the entire time; cops found him wandering around up there"

"But he's okay?"

"He's fine Addison"

"How's Derek?"

"Yang did surgery on him"

"Cristina Yang?"

"Yeah…Teddy was over at Seattle Pres with another patient then she had to take a bullet out of Karev"

"Alex got shot?"

"Yeah…it was a bloodbath Addison"

"You okay?"

"Me? Yeah I'm fine…Carley scared me half to death though; when I saw her, she had blood all over her clothes, she just kept saying 'he shot him, he shot my daddy'…Meredith says she saw the whole thing…they guy came into the OR"

"Oh my God"

"Yeah, and Grey told him to shoot her"

"She What?"

"Yeah, she wanted the guy to shoot her instead of Derek"

"Oh my God Mark"

"How far are you guys from the hospital?"

"Maybe 20 minutes…do you think we'll even be able to get near the hospital?"

"Callie's outside waiting for you, so you'll be good to get in…how's Amelia taking the news?"

"Not good…she didn't want to come; she said she couldn't see him like that"

"Oh yeah, especially after…"

"Yeah"

"I called Carolyn and Nancy, they said they'd be here tomorrow…think you'll be ready to face them?"

"I have no choice; Derek and I have kids together so, I have to deal with them"

"Kathleen and Jenny still hate you"

"Yeah I know"

"They still hate me too"

"Don't be ridiculous, they'll forgive you long before they forgive me…they never liked me, neither did Carolyn…she said I was too rich and privileged for Derek"

"It wasn't like that Addie; I know that, Derek knows that"

"Yeah, but he didn't fight for me did he? Nope, I had to sit there and be insulted by his sisters and his mother for nearly 12 years"

"It'll be okay Red, look just grin and bear it, besides you're not really here for them, you're here for your kids"

"Thanks Mark"

"Anytime, see you when you guys get here"

"Okay, Bye"

Just as Mark hung up the phone, Carson began to stir around

"Hey, Carley, I just off the phone with your mom, she should be here soon" he said softly

"Did, did that stuff really happen or was it just a bad dream?" She asked softly

Mark sighed and shook his head,

"No sweetie I'm sorry, it was real"

"Where's, where's…"

"Ryan? Right next to you see? The police found him in your dad's office"

Carson looked over at her sleeping 10 year old brother and gently stroked his face, when she looked back up, her mom and her Aunt Naomi(Her mother's best friend) were standing in the doorway

"Mom! Oh Mom I was so scared!" Carson said getting out of bed and running into Addison's arms

"Oh sweetie! Thank God you and your brother are alright" Addison said holding her daughter tight

As Addison held Carson, Ryan began to stir around

"Hey big guy" Mark said ruffling his hair

"Hey Uncle Mark…mom!" Ryan said as he sat up in bed

"Oh Ryan! Oh honey, I'm so glad you're safe" Addison said going over the bed to hug him, as Meredith coming to stand in the doorway, causing everyone to look at her

"Derek's asking to see you all" she said softly…

…

12 hours prior….

The last thing Derek Christopher could remember seeing was a bullet that tore through his chest; he remembered hearing his 16 year old daughter begging him not to die; he felt her hands pressing on the hole in his chest, that was the last thing he saw before he drifted off into the dark oblivion of what he thought would be the end of his life. As the darkness overtook him , his life flashed before his eyes. He was taken back to his med school days, the day he meet a beautiful redhead by the name of Addison Montgomery and all the many regrets he had about letting her go…

FLASHBACK

All he could see was Red, a beautiful redheaded young woman sitting in front of him. She smelled good…ah, Chanel No. 5, he thought to himself as he caught a whiff of her perfume. Her back was turned to him as she effortlessly rambled off answers to their med school instructor. Her voice was simply captivating, he had to know who was the beautiful redhead know knew so damn much about what was going on in class.

"She's hot isn't she?" his best friend Mark Sloan muttered as he noticed Derek staring at Addison

"You know her? Please tell me you haven't slept with her?" Derek groaned, Mark always slept with the hottest girls, usually the girls Derek liked; they did have the same taste in women.

"Who Red, god no! she won't even give me the time of day; besides, I'm nowhere near good enough to date a Forbes Montgomery"

"Montgomery? As in Archer Montgomery?"

"Yeah, that beautiful redhead sitting in front of you is his fine ass little sister Addison"

Addison. Even her name sounded beautiful to him; he desperately had to get to know her…

"Mr. Shepherd, _Mr. Sloan_, are you two paying attention or are you too busy eyeing Ms. Montgomery?" their instructor asked, causing Addison to turn around in her seat; the first thing that captured his attention(besides the hair, which made her even hotter) were her eyes; they had this way of piercing through your soul, he imagined staring into her blue-green orbs for the rest of his life.

"Uh sorry Professor Tompkins" Mark replied, flashing Addison a wide grin as she rolled her eyes at him in disgust

"I can't believe your friends with…ugh, that" she said to Derek before turning around in her seat. He desperately wanted to say something to her, but it was almost as if his mind was silly putty or something. Luckily for him, his sister Nancy(who shared an apartment with Addison and her best friend Naomi Jones) was a great matchmaker; she set the two up on a date which eventually lead to their engagement and marriage…Somehow, someway, during the course of their 11 year marriage, things got crazy. Maybe Carson was right, maybe he did put his job first instead of Addison and their family. As he drifted deeper into the darkness, all he could see was her, his Addison, his beautiful redhead and how he would give anything to hear her voice or see her again…

"Mere, he's waking up" Cristina Yang whispered to her best friend

"He's trying to say something, Derek, Derek, can you hear me? It's Meredith"

"What's he trying to say?" Cristina asked again

"I don't know! Shh, listen"

"A-A-Ad-Add-Addison"

…

6 months later…

"I can't believe I'm going back, I left for a reason; I never imagined going back" Addison said as Naomi helped her pack her things; life for Addison Forbes Montgomery had changed drastically over the past 6 months. She was headed back to Seattle, to try and give things with her ex husband yet another try.

"I know…I always had a feeling you two would wind up back together again" Naomi said softly as the two women sat in Addison's bedroom packing the last of her immense collection of designer clothes and shoes

"You did? You always knew?"

"Yeah…I mean I knew you came out here for all the wrong reasons; I should've made you go back, stay in Seattle and fight harder for what was yours, but I was selfish and I let you move here anyway"

"Nae, it wasn't selfish; being here in LA these past 3 years have been great, I've finally found my footing, I'm me again and I have you to thank for it" she said hugging her best friend

"I'm really gonna miss you"

"I know, I'll miss you too, but it's not like I'm not ever coming back, I still have my house here, and the kids love the beach so I'll be here pretty often"

"Yeah I know it's just…the practice won't be the same without you"

"Hey Nae, Addie, you ready to go?" Derek said as he walked into the bedroom

"Uh yeah, I'm ready" she said as he walked over to where she was and planted a kiss on her forehead

"You had better take care of her Derek, I don't want to see her back in LA unless she's visiting" Naomi said as she stood to hug him

"I promise you, she'll only be coming to visit, I promise" Derek replied hugging her back

"Not many people get a third chance at love Derek…don't screw it up this time"

"Trust me, I don't plan on letting her go again, this time I'm holding on for dear life" Derek said as he smiled over at Addison….you know what they say: third time's a charm…


End file.
